No Regrets?
Just watched the 25th Anniversary production of Phantom Of The Opera online, and as expected it made me super emotional, partly because it was so amazing, but mostly because it made me feel bad about myself.
Other than wanting to be the lead singer of a kick ass rock band, really my true passion is musical theatre, which I think even a lot of my friends might not know. For me singing has always been about acting the song as well as vocalising it, and having danced since I was 3, the 3 arts combined is just the best. And yet, I never once auditioned for one. Not even for chorus. In my 20s, a friend tried to convince me to audition for a new musical (Dirty Dancing) which was looking for dancers, especially those with a background in ballroom / latin, and despite the fact that she'd been in London musical productions (and therefore knew the standard expected), and the fact that I'd studied ballroom / latin for almost ten years (passing all my exams with crazy high pass scores), I didn't go. Because I didn't think I was good enough.
I have very few regrets in my life, but not taking a chance to see where my talents could take me is the big one. It's not all my fault - a LOT of auditions were only open to women over a certain height (often 5 ft 6), and although my Starnow profile says I'm 5 ft 4 (I think it also says I'm 29...) I'm only 5 ft 2. But I never took any chances anyway, because I didn't think I was good enough.
It's too late for me now, I'm 38 this year, and ain't nobody casting any middle aged short chicks in their musicals.. but I've realised that the best things that never happened to me, and the worst things that have happened to me in my life, have happened because I didn't think I was good enough, bad relationships, low self esteem etc.
Sooo, bringing me to my point... please don't let this happen to you.
I mean, somethings you might not be good enough at - for example, don't try juggling with flaming torches if you think you're not good enough at that... but, when we get out of these current restrictions and are finally allowed to get on with our lives, make sure you REALLY get on with it. Don't piss about. Don't waste time. Don't end up with regrets.
